Planted in the main hall of the San Diego Convention Center, waiting for the Iron Man 2 preview at Comic-Con 2009, meant getting a bunch of other previews for exciting upcoming things (though in contrast, obviously, a lot less exciting): Zombieland, 2012, Mike Judge's new film Extract, the British-funded fantasy epic Solomon Kane and what Kevin Smith is currently up to.

2012

There was no cast present for the 2012 panel: no extraneous people at all, just the disaster monolith that is Roland Emmerich, and a boatload of new clips from the film – things that hadn't been shown in the (already audacious) trailer.

A lot more of the film was shown – the setup and the possibility of giant ships and conspiracy theories and how things might pan out in terms of "plot". But really, it's going to be a big hitter for people who like disaster movies and as much footage of things collapsing, blowing up, disappearing underwater, set on fire or shot into space as possible, because let's face facts: that's basically it. The footage Emmerich brought with him looked like they'd put a scale model of southern California in a tumble dryer and hit the "on" switch.

During the audience Q&A, the essential question was asked of Emmerich: "Why do you hate the world?"
"I love the world! I destroy it so much because I love it so much!"

Which may sound a little like saying, "I pull legs off spiders one at a time because I'm so very fond of them." But then again, he had a chance to prove it: someone asked him how, possibly, the Earth could avoid coming to an Emmerich-like end.

"Have a few less wars, maybe look after our planet a little bit and then we don't have to live on a planet that is dying and maybe that would be good?" he replied.

Yes, Roland, but that won't make much difference when the aliens come and carry out the threat of ecological collapse like the Mayans always said they would, will it? No. No it won't.

Zombieland

Director Ruben Fleischer, with a cast including Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg, came to present footage from Zombieland – apparently a rollicking, roister-doistering festival of the killing of the already dead, a post-apocalyptic buddy/coming of age/romance zombie movie.

The crucial question most people will have about this is: are these fast zombies? Or the more traditional slow zombies? They are, as it turns out, fast ones. Fast, and drooly. Little more could be discovered. Though some things are obvious: Eisenberg, a collection of shy smiles, blinks and tics, is bound to be loved by the people who think he's the soul of Woody Allen in a young thin body, and hated by those who can't remember if he's Michael Cera or not.

This was one of the panels, though, where you wish there had been more of the writers on board, mainly because every answer to every question seemed to involve the script, how good it is, how it was the reason that all of them, directors, cast, all of them, were drawn toward the project because it's such a powerful script, and not just Any Other Zombie Movie – but what was it that made it different? What was it that made it special? They couldn't really put a finger on it.

When the panel is about the creators meeting the potential fans, it's the concept you need to sell as well as the names, and it's the creative team that can answer all the important questions. Such as: "Really? Fast zombies?"

Extract

Looked promising in an Office Space way, which is not entirely surprising: where Office Space was Judge's take on his time as an office drudge, this is his take on being the boss of a factory. Only, Jason Bateman's factory in the film is producing Extract of Wintergreen, or something like that, while Judge's was creating production-line animation. He doesn't seem to have liked it very much.

However, one of the interesting things to come out of the panel, if you are Judge-minded, was the suggestion that making a sequel to Beavis and Butthead Do America is something they still talk about on an every-couple-of-years-ish basis; and that he was having a conversation about it only last week, in fact. There are, he says, some potential ideas for it floating around. So, been waiting for a Beavis and Butthead movie sequel? Well then:

a) What, really?

b) Your prayers may one day be answered.

Simultaneously less hopeful in tone and also more likely to happen sooner: Jason Bateman was, inevitably, asked about the Arrested Development movie. He said:

"It's not dead, there's no reason to think that it's dead; Mitch Hurwitz had a very busy TV pilot season, so now that part of the year is over, it may start moving. Or it may not. I spoke to Ron Howard and Brian Grazer a week ago and they're still very behind it, and they're still pushing the idea on their bosses, who apparently rule the WORLD. It could be as soon as the next six months, or as late as the next 18."

But not dead. That's good.

Solomon Kane

"It's a real throwback to 80s violent, gory, action fantasy," said the moderator, introducing Michael J Bassett's adaptation of Robert E Howard's stories as if that was the best thing imaginable. The crowd agreed.

Mainly it was Bassett promising that Solomon Kane is a fantasy film that takes itself seriously – such as Conan, or The Sword and the Sorcerer

James Purefoy proudly declared himself to be a leading man who wouldn't be one with the witty put-down and the snappy comebacks. No, he'll just be killing some people with some swords.

In terms of footage? Well, it looked a bit like sitting and watching someone play a third-party medieval stab-em-up video game for a couple of hours. Still. I know many people who while away evenings doing just that. So no judgies from me.

Kevin Smith: Project X

Clerks director Smith, introducing his annual talk at Comic-Con, which people keep returning to because he is an urbane and witty man, summed up his year with language I cannot begin to use here. The point was that last year, he brought clips of Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and everyone whooped and clapped and enthused, and he thought, "Wow! This one may actually work!" – and the year went downhill from there.

So this year, he wouldn't bring clips. Not jinxing himself this time, he said.

It's not called Project X, of course. It's working title is Two Dicks, starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as private detectives (the dicks of the title). It is, and this is all he would say:

a) Going well.

b) Like the first Lethal Weapon with 60% less action. And the first Lethal Weapon, as you'll know, hardly had any action to begin with.