There was a time, children, when Hugh Grant was both more and less than Paddington’s nemesis. For a good decade from the mid-90s, he was the go-to romcom star – all English diffidence and twinkling-but-soulful blue eyes gazing out from under a fine head of floppy brown hair. He says: “That bird has flown.” Now that he is “older and uglier”, he is offered different and more interesting parts, such as his upcoming role as Jeremy Thorpe in A Very English Scandal, a three-part dramatisation by Stephen Frears of the politician’s trial for conspiracy to murder his former lover Norman Scott. Well, good for Grant, who has always made clear his discomfort with being cast as the stuttering good guy fumbling his way towards PG-rated ecstasy, but who might step into his shoes as the new king of romcom? Some thoughts:

A Ryan

Reynolds or Gosling, depending on whether you want it more rommy (Gosling) or commy (Reynolds). But always Reynolds, for preference.

A “Chris”

Evans (not that one), Pine, Pratt or Hemsworth. If there’s a studio that could afford a fourway, let the record show there is a cross-demographic audience for that.

A “Hemsworth”

Liam, Luke or Chris (again). Let their mum decide whose turn it is to star.

John Legend

The multi-Grammy, Golden Globe and Oscar-winning musician recently triumphed as the titular Jesus Christ Superstar in an NBC adaptation of the Rice/Webber rock opera. The millions of people who now locate their last vestiges of hope for humanity in the relationship between him and his wife, Chrissy Teigen, know that he is the would-be romcom Legend the world needs.

Hugh Jackman

Ideal if there’s a serenading scene, or one in which he charms her friends by breaking into an appropriately sexy/sentimental song at a ladies’ brunch.

Michael Fassbender

Just to see what would happen, really.

Nigel Havers

Why should the young ones have all the fun? Anyone who saw his sterling recent work as Audrey’s gigolo in Coronation Street knows that The Charmer (1987 ITV drama – ask your grandparents) still has it.

Kumail Nanjiani

One of the stars of Silicon Valley with a great line in flailing uncoolness and bumbling sweet vulnerability – and who did semi-reinvent the romcom to brilliant effect with The Big Sick, co-written with his wife, Emily V Gordon, for which they received an Oscar nomination earlier this year.

Cate Blanchett

People say she can do anything. Let’s test her. Let’s find the answer to Titus Andromedon’s question in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – “Is she great? Or is she just tall?”