In 1956 in Tarascon, Provence, where the entire population speaks French-accented English, a priest is mysteriously immolated on his own altar. Who ya gonna call? Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga) of course, last seen in 2018 horror hit The Nun driving demons back through the gates of hell, and now trying to lead a normal life at the convent while her unsuspecting fellow sisters tell ghost stories about the wimple-wearing evil she vanquished. Now the church needs another miracle, so she sets off with rebellious young Sister Debra (Euphoria’s Storm Reid) to investigate a wave of clerical murders and suicides moving west across Europe like a cold front. “I want to believe in miracles,” says doubting Debra. “I just hope you can find your faith when the time comes,” replies Irene, who has clearly read the script all the way to the end.
How much sleuthing this supposed Supernun does is debatable. Her biggest breakthrough comes from meeting a librarian at the Catholic archives, who tells her what the demons are after this time – a relic that can afford them unimaginable power – and where to find it. She bumps into her former Nun-fighting partner, Maurice AKA Frenchie, played by Jonas Bloquet, a kind of fire-sale Clive Owen. Maurice is now a janitor at a girls’ boarding school, where he is anachronistically introducing the high-five to rural France. Last time they saw one another, he was planning to start a farm, and Irene gave him a packet of tomato seeds. The good news is that the tomatoes are coming on nicely. The bad news is that Maurice is possessed by the Nun, who keeps using him as a portal to access the souls of the innocent, which rather gets in the way of his day job.
About that Nun. Shouldn’t she shake up her repertoire a bit? You would think an entity that could travel across dimensions and continents in the blink of a glowing yellow eye might not be restricted to a solitary party trick. You know the one: loitering in the shadows until someone clocks her, then flashing her fangs and shooting forward with that irritating hissing sound. That’s it? That’s all she’s got? In neglecting to vary her routine, she is not unlike the film-makers behind this ninth visit to the Conjuring universe – although “universe” is a misleadingly large word for a franchise that is impoverished in all but its box-office gross. “Is this just a big dead end?” asks Debra. You said it, Sister.
The Nun II is released on 8 September in UK and Irish cinemas.
