As synthetically festive as an eggnog-flavoured plug-in air freshener, Red One is a cynical, soulless action-adventure that imagines Santa (JK Simmons), codenamed Red One, as a quasi-militaristic elite operative with his own security detail, headed by stony-faced tough guy Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson). When Santa is kidnapped, Callum is forced to partner with “level 4 naughty lister” Jack (Chris Evans), a hacker and general miscreant who sells his dubious skills to the highest bidder – in this case, a shady individual who has nefarious plans that threaten the very future of Christmas.

A charmless, CGI-heavy spectacle, Red One falls into an ill-considered audience no man’s land: it’s too intense for little kids (we get to visit Krampus in what appears to be a yuletide S&M dungeon) and too bland to attract teens and genre fans.

• In UK and Irish cinemas