My partner and friend Thelma Mathews, who has died of breast cancer aged 62, was a woman of extraordinary kindness and diligence. She was successful in two careers, as a makeup artist in music, fashion and film in the 1980s and 90s, and then as a counsellor and psychotherapist for young people, primarily in Hackney, London, for the last 20 years of her life.

Thelma was born in London, growing up in New Malden, the eldest child of Anthony Mathews, art publisher and bon vivant, and Madge (nee Wilson), a nurse and socialist. Thelma, integrating these two sides, had a highly principled social conscience and was a lover of people and parties. She was educated at Ricards Lodge high school for girls in Wimbledon.

She attended the London College of Fashion, studying beauty therapy and makeup, and from the age of 21 was at the centre of Soho club culture, the Wag club and the New Romantics music scene, living on Old Compton Street and frequenting the Coach and Horses pub in the days of Jeffrey Bernard. But she was never “unwell”, but rather a responsible worker developing her makeup career, which included work for the Thompson Twins and for Live Aid, and touring the world twice in the 80s.

At the end of the decade she moved into film, first with Derek Jarman, as the lead makeup artist on The Last of England (1987) and The Garden (1990) and for his video work with the Pet Shop Boys. She also worked on Sense and Sensibility and Rob Roy (both 1995), and for the Cholmondeleys dance company and the Comme des Garçons fashion label.

Thelma and I met in 1989. After the birth of our daughter, Olita-May, the erratic life of film began to pall for Thelma and, to fulfil her desire to help the vulnerable, she retrained as a counsellor at East London University. She volunteered for many years at the Samaritans and then worked in Hackney, as lead counsellor at Off Centre, a local mental health charity for under 25s. Her supervisor Gina Rowe said that Thelma “offered something so authentic and strong to her clients that I can honestly say that her work saved lives”. Thelma eventually became CEO and, despite the cuts, fought for the survival of the organisation for many years.

Thelma was diagnosed with breast cancer but continued working as a student counsellor at University College London; she remained stoic on the return of the disease late last year and managed a seaside holiday despite lockdown with Olita, enjoying a feast of duck breasts and pina coladas, but died suddenly while away.

She is survived by me and Olita, and by her sister, Polly, and brother, Roland.