Vintage Wagner throw
Want to snuggle up with Wagner? It’s not the usual response to the man whose name is synonymous with epic, monumental and (for many) impenetrable grand opera, but if tickets to Bayreuth are beyond your budget, this throw adorned with the German composer’s austere figure means that the Wagner-obsessive in your life can wear their heart on their sleeve, or at least their fanaticism on their futon. £50.21, redbubble.com
Sopranos cookbook
Become the capo of your kitchen and celebrate the rich culinary history of mobster cuisine with The Sopranos Family Cookbook: As Compiled by Artie Bucco. “What, no fucking ziti?” Wrong. There’s plenty of ziti (even Janice has chipped in with a vegetarian recipe). First published in 2002 but rediscovered over lockdown as people binged on the series again – Carmela’s sausage rigatoni is a particular triumph. £14.95, infusions4chefs.co.uk
Squid Game marbles
Netflix’s South Korean smash saw 456 downtrodden and desperate people compete in violent approximations of children’s games for a cash prize. So far, so festive. Our hero Gi-hun also had his morals tested during a game of marbles, lovingly recreated here alongside that menacing business card, for at-home contests without the gore. £4.45, etsy.com
Shakespeare socks
To buy or not to buy: that is the question when it comes to giving boring old socks. But this natty collection from the London Sock Exchange and Shakespeare’s Globe features characters from the Bard’s yarns in striking designs and colours: Caesar in imperial purple, a blood-red Romeo and Juliet, and forest green for the Bottom in your life. £12, shop.shakespearesglobe.com
Postmodern architecture merch
For the Pomo-partial pal in your life, what could be better than cosying up with an MI6 building cushion while sipping tea from a No 1 Poultry mug? Designer Adam Nathaniel Furman has produced a dazzling range of affordable bags, T-shirts, cushions, mugs and prints emblazoned with all your favourite postmodern architectural icons. Cushion £32; mug £16, adamnathanielfurman.com
Virgin of the Rocks deckchair
The National Gallery has an irresistible gift for Leonardo fans to sunbathe on, decorated with the most beautiful figure from its altarpiece by him. Rest your bum on an angel, or adapt it into a flying machine. £140, nationalgallery.co.uk
Grayson’s Art Club jigsaw
Reignite all your favourite lockdown hobbies with Grayson Perry’s Art Club jigsaw. The patron saint of amateur artists, Perry unites the familiar slogans of “stay alert” and “stay at home” with cosy scenes of wine-drinking, bread-making and bulk-buying toilet roll. This 750-piece challenge is sure to get all the family reminiscing over a mince pie or two. £15, shop.manchesterartgallery.org
John Cage New Ideas T-shirt
His silence changed the world, but when he opened his mouth he also had plenty of interesting stuff to say. Any Gen Z-er would surely be delighted to reference one of the 20th century’s greatest thinkers while endorsing his refusal to accept the status quo. £16.38, redbubble.com
Back to the Future/Theatre face mask
Stop the spread of coronavirus and handily prevent your neighbour from hearing you belt out Johnny B Goode with these triumphant face masks designed for the Back to the Future stage musical and celebrating the reopening of the UK’s beleaguered theatres. A pretty (Mc)fly present. £12, backtothefuturemusical.tmstor.es
Ennui-sur-Blasé baseball cap
What screams France more than a baseball cap emblazoned with the name of a made-up town that sounds like a Gallic shrug followed by an exhaled cloud of Gitane smoke? Well, a beret obviously. But you’re missing the point. Ennui-sur-Blasé was the ville where Wes Anderson’s unremittingly jolly 2021 masterpiece The French Dispatch was set, so this is the perfect gift to replace a loved one’s now worn out Fantastic Mr Fox bandit hat. Accessorise with un poisson mort and l’air d’un vieux grognon. £20.36, redbubble.com
Jeff Koons hoodie
Pay homage to the king of pop art kitsch with a range of clothes made in collaboration with Uniqlo, all of which are a hell of a lot more affordable than his works. This balloon animal hoodie is the pick of the bunch. £24.90, uniqlo.com
Lil Nas X prayer candle
Between appearing on tabloid talkshow Maury to find out whether his ex was married (a parody, though some viewers failed to realise) and giving Satan a lapdance in the Montero video, there hasn’t been a dull moment for Lil Nas X this year. Say a little prayer to pop’s leading provocateur with this fetching candle. $50, lilnasxstore.com/store
Måneskin tie
They’re the swaggering rock band who made Eurovision cool again, and added another trophy to Italy’s 2021 bounty (see also: the Euros, Bake Off). Channel your inner Måneskin with this skinny necktie, best paired with leather, glitter – and as low a neckline as is acceptable at your dinner table on 25 December. €20, merch.maneskin.it
Camus T-shirt
Do you see what they did there? They culturally appropriated a cigarette ad to make a philosophical point. Camus instead of Camel. An existentialist death warning rather than a government health warning. And right in the middle, the hunky philosopher of the absurd himself, inhaling death with every breath. $13, teepublic.com
Bo Burnham’s White Woman’s Instagram mug
Bo Burnham’s musical bulletin from the underbelly of lockdown, Inside, is a Covid-era comedy masterpiece. Should you wish to be reminded of it every breakfast-time, this White Woman’s Instagram mug, celebrating one of the show’s less twisted lyrics, is a must-buy. £12.76, etsy.com
No Time to Die Scalextric
You like Bond movies, right? And you love Scalextric, I bet, like the Alan Partridge-esque manchild you are? Well, the marketing machine that is 007 has pulled off yet another masterpiece of multiple cross-branding: a No Time to Die Scalextric set featuring two super-classy Bond cars, the Aston Martin DB5 (the low-slung sporty one) and Jaguar XF (bigger and chunkier). Let battle commence … £59.99, uk.scalextric.com
Diana T-shirt
From Diana: The Musical to The Crown and Kristen Stewart biopic Spencer, the pop cultural potency of Diana, Princess of Wales is stronger than ever. Celebrate Lady Di with this Y2K-inspired T-shirt, which pays homage to her royal poise … and her much-documented love of cycling shorts. £17.50, thefreshstuff.co.uk
Valerie Solanas beach towel
Want to rage at the patriarchy and enjoy a day at the seaside? Now you can do both at once with this towel created by multimedia artist Seth Bogart. It commemorates the SCUM manifesto for eradicating the male species by the woman who shot Andy Warhol. $59.99, wackywacko.com
Record your own single
Jack White, of White Stripes and analogue fetishism fame, has opened a London outpost of his label and record store Third Man Records. It’s a great day trip present for a music lover, especially if you use the in-house recording booth to cut a performance of your favourite song direct to vinyl. £15, thirdmanrecords.com
Taylor Swift’s scarf (allegedly) stolen by Jake Gyllenhaal
The epic All Too Well memorialises how Jake Gyllenhaal not only broke Swift’s heart, but also stole her scarf. Alongside a victorious new re-recording of the song (restored to its full 10-minute glory) comes a replica of the most potent artefact in Swiftian lore that’s so long and cosy, you can see why he hung on to it. £35, storeuk.taylorswift.com
Harry Styles nail polish
Harry Styles was the 8,025th celebrity to release a beauty brand this year, with Halsey, Naomi Osaka and, er, Ellen DeGeneres among the famous names flogging everything from eyeshadow to face wash. Pleasing is a cut above the rest, a delicate yet flamboyant collection which includes these glossy, eye-catching nail colours and decorative decals. £50, pleasing.com
Pablo Bronstein tea towels
Christmas sherry glasses are begging to be polished by a tea towel printed with Pablo Bronstein’s Patisseries and Confections, a characteristically witty work in his current exhibition at Sir John Soane’s Museum in London. Towers of cakes and pastries are set against a background of equally elaborate tower-block architecture. Delicious and slightly sinister, like Christmas itself. £12, shop.soane.org
Postpunk ruler
With their infographics, maps and other taxonomic paraphernalia, graphic design company Dorothy makes great gifts that prod the pleasure centres of music nerds. Their 12-inch ruler measures out the 12 years between punk and grunge in a series of classic albums, etched so it feels like a vinyl record. £18, wearedorothy.com
Women for Peace: banners from Greenham Common
Forty years since women marched from Cardiff to protest against US nuclear missiles being stored at the Berkshire airbase, a book collects the amazing banners they and others like them made in order to prevent the world from being blown to smithereens. £14, donlonbooks.com
Sun Ra and his Arkestra diorama
Free jazzing space alien Sun Ra, as you know, was born on Saturn (not, as Wikipedia absurdly claims, Birmingham, Alabama). There is literally no better way to celebrate his mind-expanding afrofuturistic, post-bop, black prog oeuvre than this playset featuring Mr Ra with his longtime collaborators, duded up in outfits that mashup ancient Egyptian and space age coutures. Some assembly required. £12.50, etsy.com
It’s a Sin T-shirt
Russell T Davies’s drama about the effects of the 80s HIV/Aids epidemic on a bright-eyed group of friends was a harrowing yet hopeful TV must-see. It also inspired a glut of brands to create T-shirts, artwork and more in support of the Terrence Higgins Trust. £25, philipnormal.shop
Keith Haring kids’ chair
Encourage your budding artist to follow Haring’s example of defying convention, fighting injustice and questioning authority – while also encouraging them to sit down and be quiet for a while. £85, flexxlex.co.uk
Derek Jarman’s cottage model kit
Set on the windswept shore of Dungeness, Derek Jarman’s Prospect Cottage has attracted thousands of visitors since the film-maker’s death in 1994. If you don’t fancy braving the chilly Kent coast, this flatpack kit contains wood, card and instructions on how to build a model one at home. £17, foundland.com
